Stuff Ill Try Not to Do as I Get Older

As I begin my transition into the second half-century of my life, there are some things that huh? Whaddya mean, I shouldnt lie about stuff like that? Yeah, I know Im supposed to tell the truth in these articles but that doesnt mean I cant fudge just a little once in a while, does it? Not even just a little bit? Once in a while? Well crap! OK then

Having passed the half century mark some time ago (there are you happy now?) I find myself thinking more about the years that lie ahead and more specifically, about who I will become as those years continue to pile on. Will I be just another old person? Will I wake up one morning and find myself doing all those funny old people things that Ive been watching over the past fifty OK, sixty-six years. Maybe. But Ive thought about it and here are some of the things Im going to work really hard NOT to do.

1. Make weird sounds every time I stand up or sit down.

Now I realize that I may not have a bunch of control over the strange pops and snaps that my joints produce from time to time but I should be able to have at least some authority over the sounds that are rolling from my throat. Know what I mean? Just listen sometime to the weird noises older folks make when they change positions. Ummmph! Uhgggg! Augggggffffff! Ennnngh! Unggggh! Im going to try not to do that.

2. Become so bored that I sit on the front porch waiting for a leaf to fall so I can totter out to pick it up off the lawn.

No kidding, I knew an older guy who did exactly that. Every morning he would make sure his little lawn was absolutely leaf-free and throughout the day, he would diligently pick up every single leaf that fell from the trees. OK, living in Phoenix, Arizona on a small lot with a half dozen orange trees didnt mean he had to really scramble to keep up with the tree droppings so it didnt occupy a bunch of his time. It was his focus though. Ill try not to do that.

3. Tell the same story to the same people over and over and over and

Yeah, we all have a tendency to lose track of who weve told what. And its not just jokes. Its the significant events or situations that weve experienced over the years too. The experiences and memories, that for whatever reason, we want to share. Ive known more than a handful of older folks and a couple of younger ones - who seemed to continually push their replay button. Im going to try not to do that.

4. Tell the same story over and (just kidding)

4. Develop a rigid daily routine and eating habits.

Im sure youve all seen examples of this and not only in our older generations either. Its doing exactly the same thing at the same time day after day after day. Up at six, breakfast at seven, read the paper until eight, watch Mayberry RFD until eight-thirty, etc., etc., etc. Its the same way with the meals. Every morning one egg over easy with toast and orange juice, lunch is always a small bowl of chicken noodle soup and half a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich BORING!!! Ill try not to do that. (Tacos and chocolate cake for breakfast any one?)

5. Forget that Im older than dust.

Two things here. The first is not trying to accomplish the same things at the same pace I did when I was twenty years younger. Mowing the lawn, trimming trees, painting, shoveling snow, lifting heavy stuff An older guy could pop something doing that. So far Im having no problem at all grasping this concept.

Second remembering that even though on certain occasions when my brain is busily thinking thoughts of a twenty-year-old, my body is displaying all the signs of a pop-up advertisement for arthritis and incontinence medications. Yeah, Ill still look and enjoy the scenery wiggling by but there aint gonna be many lookin back. Ill try to remember that.

6. Lose my sense of humor.

I understand, considering the usual aches and pains that tend to sneak up on us in our later years, that sometimes its difficult to just slap on a smile and press on. And weve all seen our share of growly, grumpy, snarly old folks. It seems to me that as we lose the ability to be productive or even to take care of ourselves, a good sense of humor may be the only thing we have left that is worth a hoot. This is a funny world filled with strange creatures doing goofy things. Im going to try to remember to watch and enjoy them. In fact, Ill probably be one of em. I think you can count on it

Gene Simmons, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles, quotations, thoughts and links along with affordable personal growth and self improvement books & materials - all designed to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of lifes secrets for survival in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/Kitti Blog74860
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